Count your blessings.. you often hear that when there is a shift in your life. Through good and bad.. there is always a reason to count your blessings. When life is good, it's easy. But when things aren't going the way we plan.. it sure is a lot harder to see those blessings clearly.
Many months ago, when my marriage was quickly crumbling, when the friends that I loved and trusted betrayed and used me, when the consequences of those acts caused me to leave the job that I loved for 6 years, When confusion and sadness consumed me...
People said it to me many times, Count your blessings. Hah! I could have laughed in their faces.
Tonight, as I stood at the stove, side by side with my husband, cooking dinner together and listening to our daughters silly debate on whether the real pronunciation of Speaker John Boehner's name is Baynor or Boner... I heard those voices whispering in my head, Count your blessings.
I admit that I have moments when I still miss my old job. I still miss the chaos of trying to balance work and everything else
.... and then, I think back to the summer.
This lazy healing wonderful summer. Paul and I spent every minute that we had together ~ together. Healing, loving, forgiving and trusting..
I think of all of the trips, days on the boat, dinner dates, movie nights, projects and conversations.
I think back to a few days ago, sitting at the kitchen table with Michelle, laughing and singing along to our favorite Christmas songs as we cut out and decorated homemade cinnamon Christmas tree ornaments.
I think back to last week, feeling exhausted as I sat on the bus next to sally on our way home from NYC. I hear her words in my head over and over.. This was the greatest birthday ever and I wouldn't have wanted to come here with anyone else but you.. I am so glad that you stopped working.
Like music to my ears..
I look back to that lonely night in May when the reality of everything completely crushed me.
I look back at it all and count my blessings.
I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. To be in this place that I am today .. to be loved and to love so much that it hurts ~ This year sure has been an amazing journey!